I Went Out With One of the Marauders and All I Got
by fructoselollipop
Summary: Was a Stupid Prank Pulled on Me. MWPP. Mild slash. The real reason Lily hates James so much in fifth year. Set in fourth year. JamesxSirius, mild onesided LilyJames. Please read my notes before you read the fic.


**Title:** I Went Out With One of the Marauders and All I Got Was A Stupid Prank Played On Me

**Author:** Kerry Ann James/Sirius, mild one-sided Lily/James

**Rating: **

**Summary: **The real reason Lily hates James so much in fifth year. Set in fourth year.

**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

**Feedback: **Feedback is like sex. Always satisfying when you get some, but its awkward when it sucks. I love reviews but I'm not partial to flames. Please keep them to a minimum.

**Notes: **Firstly, the title is clearly but lovingly ripped off from the Fall Out Boy song of a similarly long name. The lyrics throughout the fic are from the same song. Secondly, I don't hate Lily. Lily/James is my second favorite het pairing in the entire fandom. I just think that Sirius and James are a much better couple. -g- Thirdly, I own Cady Stanton. Yes, she is an original character and yes, if you're familiar with my MWPP series you will recognize her. She's the first OC I created in this fandom and its been a struggle not to turn her into a Mary Sue, but I still can't resist putting her into every MWPP fic I write. Don't make fun. :( I hope you enjoy!

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_Douse yourself in cheap perfume it's_

_So fitting, so fitting of the way you are_

_You can't cover it up_

_Can't cover it up_

_--------------------------------------------------- _

Lily Evans turned her head slowly, her gaze never leaving her reflection in the mirror. She brought her head straight forward once more and tossed her luxurious red hair, smiling satisfactorily at the way her curls bounced.

"Perfect," she said aloud, finally approving her appearance. She stood up with more grace most girls her age possessed and turned to her friend Cady. "How do I look?"

Cady spared half a glance at Lily over the top of her magazine. "Gorgeous, as usual Lils. Like you needed to hear it from me." She rolled her eyes at the red head who was now twirling in front of the mirror, making sure that her dress billowed out in just the right way. "Who're you going out with anyway?"

"James Potter."

The almond colored eyes slid back over the top of the page to give Lily an impressed look. "Well done, Evans," she said approvingly. "How'd you manage that one?"

Lily giggled and pranced over to Cady's bed, plopping unceremoniously onto the covers. She leaned her face closer to her friend's and lowered her voice, an almost devilish grin touching her lips. "I used _it._"

Cady's eyes widened. "Lily Evans, you didn't use _it._"

"It" was a technique an upperclassman taught them last year to get boys to ask them out. It involved playing on teenage boys weak point: breasts. The general idea was to wear a short skirt, undo the top button of your blouse, and walk with a little more bounce in your step than usual. When the boy you want starts to pay attention to you, fold your arms underneath your breasts so that they lift up just enough to peek out of your blouse. At this point if he hasn't asked you out yet, he's definitely batting for the other team.

Lily nodded, her eyes glinting with excitement. "It worked like a charm."

Cady returned her friend's roguish grin. "How long did it take?"

"Two minutes tops. I swear, his eyes were about to fall out of his head."

The two girls shared a giggle then elapsed into thoughtfulness Lily remembering with glee how well _it_ worked and Cady wondering if she had enough of her own... assets to pull _it_ off herself.

"So," Cady finally said, breaking the silence. "What's the date look like?"

Lily acquired a dreamy look. "Dinner by the lake followed by a moonlit walk of the grounds. And the best part is it was all his idea!" She sighed happily. "He's such a romantic."

Cady rolled her eyes. "What time are you meeting him?"

The red head checked her watch and nearly jumped out of her skin. "Oh my gosh, I've got to go." She hopped off the bed, slipping her feet into her shoes and grabbing her purse off her own bed. "I'll be sure to tell you everything when I get back," she said over her shoulder as she disappeared out the door and down the stairs.

"You better!"

_---------------------------------------------------_

_Just so you know, you'll never know  
And some secrets weren't meant to be told_

_---------------------------------------------------__  
_

Lily flashed a smile when she saw him. He didn't look much different than normal save for the fact that his shirt looked ironed and he was carrying a picnic basket. He wore black slacks that he clearly wore underneath his school robes and a white oxford that he had opted not to tuck in.

"You look pretty," he said when she approached him. He offered her a sheepish grin. "Sorry I don't clean up as nice."

"On the contrary," Lily replied with the sweetest voice she could muster. "You look rather handsome."

His grin widened and he held out his arm embarrassedly for her to take. "Well then, shall we go?"

Lily smiled, feeling a blush creep into her cheeks, as she accepted his arm and they began making their way down the entrance hall towards the doors when a voice called out from behind them.

"OY! Give her a snog for me, will ya Potter?"

It was Sirius Black, James' best friend, accompanied by the remaining two of their famous foursome (Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew), all wearing mischievous grins.

James shook his head, a hint of a smile on his lips. "Bugger off, Black. I'll deal with you later."

"Ooh, is that a promise?"

But James was pulling her away from the group and out the front door.

"Sorry about that," James said, the small smile still gracing his features. "You know how teenage boys can be." He glanced at her, his hazel eyes sparkling.

Lily shrugged as they made their way across the grounds, towards the lake. "I really don't see what you see in him, James," she replied. "He's so... uncivilized."

James frowned slightly. "What makes you say that?"

"Well he's rude and conceited, and I swear I saw him peeking in the girls restroom once."

The small smile that Lily couldn't quite name returned to the boy's face. "I somehow doubt he did that."

Lily arranged her face into a pout. "Oh yes he did," she replied. "Right before he threw half a dozen dungbombs in there."

James let out a laugh that was full of something. It had a little ring to it that Lily didn't normally hear when she spoke with him. This one was rich and somehow more truthful in a way that set her curiosity aflame. "That sounds more like him," he said finally, his strange smile widening.

The red head frowned. "You're so much of a bigger person than him, James," she said seriously. "I honestly think you could do better."

She seemed to have touched a nerve. "Don't every say that," he snapped suddenly, his eyes flashing. "Sirius is much dearer than a friend to me and I won't hear another word against him. Got that?"

Lily nodded, a little entranced at his unexpected reaction, and his expression softened, though he didn't say another word until they had found a nice place that provided some shade from the setting sun.

"Perfect spot," he said cheerily, all evidence of his previous outburst absent. He clapped his hands together then set to work laying out a blanket and placing the food atop it.

"Where did you get all this," Lily asked incredulously. "Dinner hadn't started when we left."

James shrugged. "The kitchens." He grinned when he saw her surprised reaction. "What? We go there all the time when we're hungry. The house elves practically shove food down your throat if you pay 'em a visit every once and a while."

The food was delicious. Fried chicken, potatoes, biscuits, green beans, corn on the cob, and an entire apple pie for desert. James ate quite a bit of it and let Lily dominate the talk for once, only speaking up if she asked him a question. At one point, she thought she saw a glazed look in his eye while she was talking but she just shrugged it off as the sun setting in his face.

After they had finished eating, they waited until the sun had really disappeared and the moon replaced it before setting out on their walk. Lily would have liked to have held his hand but he was carrying the picnic basket in the one closest to her and didn't shift it at any point. They decided that if they walked all around the castle it would be well after midnight by the time they returned, so they settled for going down to the Quidditch pitch and back. While they strolled James shared the story of how he and his friends discovered the kitchens (something about wandering around for hours after they were supposed to be in bed and almost getting caught by Dumbledore; she wasn't really paying attention at this point).

It was a very successful date (in her opinion) despite the little tiff regarding Sirius and by the time they made it back up to their common room she was quite sure he had forgiven her for speaking ill of his best friend.

"I had a lot of fun," he was saying as they approached the stairs up to the girls dormitory.

"Me too," Lily replied, her mind already on her prize. She leaned forward on her toes and pushed her chest out a little more, hoping to see the puckering of lips in her near future.

James only smiled and set down the picnic basket on a nearby chair before enfolding her in a tight hug.

Not quite what she was expecting, but she wrapped her arms around him as well. Her mind was racing fast, trying to come up with a way to get her goodnight kiss when she felt warm breath on her ear.

"_Meet me in the unused closet in the tallest Astronomy tower at midnight._"

Lily drew back in surprise but James just smiled and winked. He kissed his fingertip and pressed it to her nose, then collected the picnic basket and made to head upstairs.

"Midnight," he repeated and was gone.

Lily stared after him, feeling lightheaded. She waited a moment until she was sure he had gone all the way up to his dormitory before taking the stairs two at a time to tell Cady.

_---------------------------------------------------_

_And I am sorry my conscience called in sick again  
And I've got arrogance down to a science_

_---------------------------------------------------__  
_

Lily eyed her watch anxiously. In sixty-six seconds it would be the appropriate time to start heading upstairs. She figured it would take her about fifteen minutes to actually make it up to the Astronomy tower so she was planning on leaving a little bit early. She kept her eyes on the second hand of her watch, counting down with it under her breath. After what seemed like ages, her watch struck quarter til and she swung her legs out of bed, sliding her feet into her slippers.

She was a little nervous about being out and about after hours. She had never really broken the rules before and didn't know how to go about it. In the end she decided to take her black cloak, hoping it would help her hide in the shadows should she cross Filch.

The common room was deserted, the last embers of the fire casting an almost scary red glow about the room.

The red head paused at the bottom of the boys stairs, listening intently. Silence. Either James had already left or was still upstairs in bed.

She shook her head. It didn't really matter if she was there first. She crossed over to the portrait hole and pulled it open tiptoeing out into the abandoned corridor.

The trip up to the Astronomy tower was fairly uneventful. At one point she thought she had been caught, but it was just one of the ghosts who didn't seem to pay her any mind.

The Astronomy tower was definitely creepy when deserted. There were, fortunately, no classes going on this night but she didn't like the idea of being up here by herself. She searched her memory for the "unused closet" that James told her to meet him in and remembered that it was located at the end of the hallway, kind of hidden by a large, ornate statue. She made her way to it and her heart gave a little leap when she saw candlelight flickering from under the door. Just to be sure that he was there, she pressed an ear against the doorway and was delighted to here that there were sounds of movement coming from inside.

Feeling somewhat proud of herself, she planted a huge smile on her lips and opened the door.

But what she saw inside wiped the grin off her face in a nanosecond.

It was her supposed beau and his best friend in one of the most intense lip-lock she had ever seen.

When the door opened they hardly spared her a glance, but instead wrapped up their kiss and leaned apart, each wearing expressions of triumphant glee.

Lily, meanwhile, was utterly speechless. She opened and closed her mouth several times, but words never seemed to form.

Sirius was grinning so widely his teeth looked bared. "Surprised, Evans?" Holding her gaze, he leaned across James and give him an affectionate nip on the collar bone. "Didn't anyone ever tell you that its impossible to separate us." He paused here to kiss his best friends jawbone, his eyes still locked onto Lily's. "Though..." His smile turned mischievous. "There's no reason we can't share him." James waggled his eyebrows at her.

For a split second Lily entertained the idea. She was just telling herself that Sirius _was _rather attractive when she remembered that she was supposed to be upset by this. She summoned tears to her eyes in an instant. "You are so MEAN, James Potter," she sobbed. "Why don't you take your boyfriend and jump off the tower." She gave them both a glare that clearly meant she hated them for life before turning and running away down the stairs.

James turned to his best friend and shrugged, wearing his special smile that he reserved just for Sirius. "Oh well."

_---------------------------------------------------_

_Douse yourself in cheap perfume it's  
So fitting, so fitting of the way you are  
You can't cover it up  
Can't cover it up_

SLUT (end)


End file.
